she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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