Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
