8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize