There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I AM VODKA MAN
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
