is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we're so committed to being not committed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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