thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
