you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
