so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize