Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize