I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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