I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
