Only a mothe r could love this liver
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
