I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
