Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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