i permit you to call me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
