Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
