Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
