And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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