Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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