I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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