i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
