remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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