He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
