Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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