She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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