Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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