i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
