my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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