So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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