I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
