yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
