Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
