Little spoons don't ask big questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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