she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
pray to the hookup gods
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
