I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
