He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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