Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
