this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
