Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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(785): View more from Kansas

Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.

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(310): View more from California

This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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(786): View more from Florida

tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.

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(231): View more from Michigan

That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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(315): View more from New York

Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday

(301): View more from Maryland

it was stoner heaven..

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