if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
