I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Randomize
