i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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