I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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