Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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