laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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