Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
