i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
