I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
