I just saw a hot homeless man
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
