Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
