what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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