Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
