1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
