Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
did i just pee glitter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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