Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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