why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
