we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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