and i looked up. we had an audience...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You ruined the universe
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
