Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize