I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize