Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
