Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
