We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
