i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
