At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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