Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

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(815): View more from Illinois

he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.

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(925): View more from California

I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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(705): View more from Ontario

I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.

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(310): View more from California

It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you

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