i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
