Your tits are I can't wait for
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
