so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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